Title:The Foreshadowing
Genre:
Log Line: A young teen is faced with a crucial decision that will ultimatly change his life.
A dark vast opened field, footsteps are heard in the background as well as voices. A young boy passes by running he is tired he is breathing hard and suddenly he stumbles and trips over a whole on the ground. As he falls he hits his head on a rock and passes out. Then he is drawn into a flashback, which explains why he is in that particular situation.
We learn that the boys name is Chris he is standing with a group of friends talking about how funny it would be to play a prank on this miserable kid. They all agree to invite the boy to Chris’s pool party, where they would throw the kid in the water because he can’t swim, little does the boy know that the pool party is fake because it’s all a part of the prank.
Once at the pool Chris’s friends tell the boy to come over so they can all talk. They all exchange some words, when the boy is not paying attention they all grab him and throw him in the pool. In panic the boy starts to flap his arms around, and begins to drown, Chris and his friends are all watching laughing at him until one of Chris friend notices that the boy is drowning. They all go in after him, but once they get to him it’s too late, the boy has died.
Chris and his friends take the body out of the water and argue about what they should do; Chris is faced with the hard decision of not telling anyone and burying the body. They agree not tell anyone and start to bury the boy’s body.
Once done Chris tells them all to go back to their houses and act as if nothing happened. One of Chris’s friends asks him what he is going to do. Chris tells him that he has no other option but to flee the country because he is the one that is going to get in trouble the most out of all of them.
Chris, gets supplies and leaves the country, he plans to leave to Mexico. Once crossing the U.S. and Mexican border the police are after him, and Chris is running for his own safety. Then the audience is taken back to the opening shot where Chris falls. Once on the floor Chris remembers the body of the boy in the water dead, in the background there’s voices getting closer and closer to Chris. Chris stays still in the ground unconscious were he then passes out and the screen fades to black.
Chris is then seen waking up the day of the prank in his bed, he glances over to his phone and receives a call from his friend. He answers the phone and his friends asks him if he is still up for the prank, Chris in shock drops the phone and realizes that he has just dreamt the outcome of the prank and what will happen to him. Chris sits there puzzled in his bed as the screen fades to black.
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This is a good treatment. I think you should try to establish the miserable boy's character more before the pool party and the group of guys so the audience gets a better feeling about the relationship between them. Also try to not go back and forth too much; try to get the same effect without so much going back and forth, or make it really clear when you switch back and forth. The beginning might be too confusing because he is asleep when this all happens and yea.
ReplyDeleteSounds good Alejandro. I like the concept but be aware of the dangers of "The Dream" plot device. It's been used wide and far and you might tick some people off. I think you should develop another way to tie all this together because its a bit overused. Good concept, but needs some rehashing
ReplyDeleteThis idea seems like a bit too much. First of all, Mexico doesn't seem like a likely location to try to portray. Pulling it off may be take a lot of creativity. Which is another thing in question; the end being just a dream is an idea thats been used by a lot of people, and is not very creative. Instead of going to Mexico and doing the dream, maybe something else could happen: maybe it really happened and he turns into more of a paranoid guy. Remember to fit it into the timeframe of 3-7 minutes though. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI do not think that Mr. Bigue is going to let you get away with that ending, for it is not really a complete resolution, and it belittles the potential power of the film. I think that it is slightly unlikely that a kid would consider escaping to Mexico in order to evade punishment for such a crime. I do think that we need a bit more background on the character of Chris and maybe show his guilt (I assume that is what he is feeling) a bit more clearly. I do like that you guys are ambitious and want to make such a movie, but if you made the story a little more succinct, as in shorter, you could focus more on the ideas that you want to portray a lot more effectively. This idea of a joke gone wrong can definitely go well for a short film project it can have a lot of nice cinematic moments and techniques worked into it. Just modify this a bit, probably a different ending, and it should be awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou should develop the miserable boy more as in why did the group of kids target him. What is the motive. I like the ending although it's not very creative. The plot is very well thought through and some scenes would be hard to film like Mexico and the boy drowning.
ReplyDeleteI really like the shift from fun and laughing to the kid's dark death. I really see how this can affect the character. killing someone can really change and negatively affect chris' life. Good use of a catylyst to move the story
ReplyDeleteyeah i don't know where my comment went from here. but basically like everyone else said too, a little unrealistic. try to develop more on the characters and not so much on the story, which in itself is pretty simplistic. the point of the dramatic moment was to find out what you want to focus on. you don't have the time to do this like a movie. focus on one scene with minimal dialogue and you will create a better movie. But the idea aof a prank gone wrong, i like it. develop it more though.
ReplyDeleteIt's a great start that's for sure. Just develop the plot more so it does have so much Cliche. We kind of expect some one to trip and fall and black out as a result so, a little more originality and you will be good to go.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea, i really do. But..Mexico? Haha just kidding. I'm glad you found the perfect ending for this.
ReplyDeleteI suppose you should make things crazier and stuff but not too crazy haha.
I love the story. I suppose it would be really hard to really get those shots of Mexico and the border and stuff.
I'm looking forward to this!
Good Plot, but why Mexico. I think it should be him trying to get somewhere far away, but he can stay in the US, even CA. I see you using Skyline as a broader, just make sure you pick a good place, and a sign.
ReplyDelete